ATTENTION!  

I found out where i'm 95 %  going to college.  that would be texas state. =)  yes i know it really far away and yes my stepmom made it very aware that my car wouldnt make too many trips back and forth from there, good thing i dont plan on wanting to see her all that much.  okay, that was mean.  i just odnt like her when it comes to making choices in my life.  i dont think she should have a say.  only daddy.  so yea,  there are of course a few little things that would be on the downside of going to texas state, but i can overlook them so, so can you!  plus the only down side thing is the distance.  but thats also one of the reasons why i like it =)  so yea, im in love!  plus!  i knew i wanted to do business/advertising and my other option was stephen F austin but i am so not going there.  see, i do not want to go to UTD and the other business schools are way too big and expensive.  plus san marcos just rocks!  and it hink im gonna try to convince my daddy to let me be in the bux sister sorority.  since its christian and so not expensive.  plus i went to this info session tuesday night for three hours and i talked to a girl who just graduated and she was in that sorority.  of course for some reason she said that the bux brothers refuse to call the phi lame (spelling?) their sister greek thingy.  i dunno.  lol.  and they have a drill team!  but i wouldnt do that and the sorority because tlak about too much!  i cant even handle work and drill team.

but yeah...  i knew san marcos was good for business because justin told me, BUT! at the info session, they apparently have like an entirely different section or watever of the school for business and its amazing!  it has gotten recognized for alot of years.  and its awesome!  you laso have to try out for it, i hope i get in!  but if i dont their are still business majors at texas state i could take i just wouldnt be in that best program =( *sighs* sad. lol  i have already startedont he application =)  its due before all the other applications are.  its due by march 15.  but if u want scholarships wich i qualify for about 3 maybe 4, then they are do by december 1!  crazy huh!?  yea and u have to have everyhting done by then.  so im a little scared. =(

=)  im so excite! i wanna go! right now! lol.  now!

and!  i'm taking college days to go down there and visit, because ant the session we got a list of all the bobcat days and they are all on saturdays.  which is so not cool because oyu dont get out of school.  however......   =)  i could leave early friday =)  im trying to go with maybe my friend abby or ask brian.  i havent really maybe ill ask him tonight.  he gets such good gas mileage its sick!  lol.  but he's parents might not allow him to.  anyhow...   either way im going, probably by myself.  or if you r reading this and u wanna come *aka ~ drive bc my car wont make it* then leave me a comment! luv yah! lol.

so yea =)  im excited!  and i'll be with justin! and possibly brian after a year.  yay for me =)  only bad thing is i hate how my stepmom thinks thats the only reason why im going.  when it really is because i will be 4 hours away from her pms modes =)  yea that was mean but she isnt so nice right now, im sure i will luv her by my next entry. lol

so yea......  this is the most amazing song ever!

if u dont have ur computer sound turned on, well do it! lol  u have to ehar it =)

and yea, today was okay, dont feel so good and computer project is like taking over my life.  so is work.  but work will be worth it, com ski trip.

also, today i was just doing some serious thinking.  mostly about the little stupid "drama"  that happened a few days ago.  and usually i forget it bc i tell people it stupid to hold on to it once its over.  but in this case i cant.  like i know there was an apology and i forgot about it immediately afterwards, but i just cant now!  like i was thinking about it and i still dont understand how someone can write that horrible of things about someone who they havent said more than a handful of words to!  like okay,  there is a difference between a crush, and an obsession.  i dont know wat this is, but it was something not good considering all that has happened form it.  i still  just cant forgot all the things that were said.  i know i'm not in the center of it all, and im happy about that bc im not half as strong as jessie and if i were her i dont know wat i would do.  i just....   im not frusturated.  im just sort oif astonished and frightened.  like, for someone to feel that much strong hatred towards another person they dont even know, just bc of a guy.  its horrible.  and i have been praing about it, but i serioulsy dont think i can ever forget it.  ever.  how could anyone say such mean things?  and it would still be bad if it was someone they knew.  and i know i keep repeating the same poitn over and over but, she hadnt even had a conversation with her!  ugh.   i just....   i hope i never get like that.  and i dont want that statement to be taken like im saying im some how better than she is and i wont ever do another bad thing again.   not at all.  but i am saying i dont ever ever want to judge somebody like that.  and if i do, well then maybe i could forgive paige.

the worst part is i am not even the person who the thigns were said to.  i just feel that strongly for them.

long time, no entry.  anywho, most of yall have probably stopped reading this anyway.

so update...

my random ramblings......

i went to hospitol

my car broke

brians car is gone and im actually crying right now about it bc i was thinking about the memories

anywho... now my car is fixed.  well drivable but its still a piece of crap. 

school has gotten better over the past month.  its actually tolerable now.

my daddy comes home from vegas tomorrow

i miss brian, i cant talkt oh im =(

homecoming was fun, i love everybody that was in my group.  even david and his shirt =)

my salad ig ot form macaroni (sp?) grill was disgusting but watever cassi ordered was fantastic! and brian's meal was so sick! so was jr's appetizer.

then the dance floor/room was the smallest thing i have ever seen and it was way crowded and hot.

 but fun!

i'm caught up in all my homework

my room is oober messy

oober is my fav word

i love my girls! jessie, brittany, kara, shea, cassi.  *no particular order*

drill team is so much fun, and im bummed i couldnt perform homecoming night bc the whole hospitol junk.

im way tired and i took a 5 and a half hour nap today which is longer then i slept last night.

i feel nasty bc i was helping my grandpa out on my car outside and i smell =(

im taking the longest shower in the world bc i have no homework but english.  and i need help on that, so not so much doing it tonight.

i also have business math but blahness.

i miss hanging out with erica and justin

i need money

i hate target

target is retarded

i love brian so much...

thats all for now folks!

HOMECOMING IS FINALLY HERE!

Friday *today* is gonne be so insane i wont have time to breathe! and alot of stress, but it will be fun.

Saturday is gonnna be sooooo much easier than friday and i can't wait!  AND!!!! i'm way nervous.  but eh. 

i hope rossen and brad win homecomiong queen and king.

omgoodness! okay, well i already made a private etry, but hey, why not a public one?  so this is my life right now.  tell me your thoughts.  *thats pointless to say bc nobody leave mne anything and this is my last post ever* 

well okay, so i am having issues with target.  basically when they hired me they knew i was involved with drill team on fridays and saturdays.  now i put my availability for saturdays and they r scheduling me earlier.  and i have football games.  so guess wat!  i have to call in.  every single one of these call ins (3) have had to do with drill team!  and!!!!!  guess wat!  if i call in one more time i get fired! yup yup.  and guess wat!  if i miss anythin else havign to do with drill team i wont be ont he team anymore!  i have to stay for all of the games and everything.  now, here is where my mother os a headaches come in!  this saturday im scheduled to work 4:30 to 10.  which would vbe perfect if it was 5:30 to 10 or something like that.  but its not!  and i did not put that i was available that early.  so they just decide to ignore that little issue of mine.  and it gets better!!!!!  yup yup yup.   last time iw as scheduled to work this early on a football game day, i had to leave right after half time.  well guess wat!  i cant do that this time cause basically i cant miss anymore bc miss streenz will say that i new the schedule and lastt ime my dad talked to her she said that i know all the future schedules for the games and that i cant leave except for that one time.  well this is another time.  and she is right, i do know the schedules of all of the games.  but so does work!  and they dont give a crap!  and now, i am 100000000 percent positive that by this saturday, i will either be jobless or i wont be a part of the cca drill team!  one has to go.  see, if i choose to let the job go which i would love to do!  ic ouldnt pay for drill team and we still have more costs coming up.  and i wouldnt have a car so i wouldnt have rides to the games and practices every morning!  so that wouldnt work out.  so basically if i chose drill team over job i would lose both.  now i could chose job over drill teama nd that wouild work out and iw ould keep my job except i want to quit anyway and im not happy with it at all.  so at im th inkng is the only solution is to quit both.  but its not that big of an issue for my future because i am pretty sure that it will all play itself out by saturday!  and somehow....  people involved on both ends think this is my fault!  please please tell me how this is my fault!  did i just ask to  be dealt this?  nope!

the only thing, and i mean only thing that is keeping my life together is about God, about 2 friends and my boyfriend.  without them my whole life would fall apart.